A Confused Mind Say's No

if you're a women, you've been there.  Sitting in the chair, toes in the bubbling water and Kim looking at you expectantly, waiting for your decision.  The problem is, I have too many choices.  Literally.  I cant even hold the stacks of little finger nail shaped plastic pallets in my lap, with every shade of white, gray, and pink known to man...or woman.  Do we really need this many choices?  Evidently we do, because I still couldn't find the one I wanted.


A confused mind says no.  Golden.  It has been stirring around in my head this last week as I have been scrolling through the countless website apps, blog pages, online book publishers, and email services.  There are so many, and I am confused.  Enter in no....or procrastination, rather.  Even right now, this first blog post of many, (in Jesus name) is being typed on a blog that isn't even mine yet. It's a blank page on a website I'm considering creating, on a platform I am undecided with.  I have to see how it looks.  I'm picky that way. It may get deleted at the wrong hit of a button, but to me, at this point, it's worth the risk  I have to do something.  I have said no for too long.  in 2015 I went to a day long seminar, paying $2500 for a website I could create all on my own, and update on my own. NOT.  3 years and a bucket loud of money later.  No website.  Why is this so hard?!  Every one has a website.  Everyone! Why is it so freaking hard for me to figure this thing out?  I better pray about it.  Even when I am procrastinating, I think If I put it on my Vision Board, and I commit it to prayer, it's not really procrastinating .  Is it?  

Well, all I can say is. God doesn't just hear our prayers, He answers them! Saturday morning me and the hubs were snuggled in the love nest and our Pastor rings my husbands phone.  He wants to come over.  We look at each other with a questionable look; "Did you do something wrong for Pastor to come over?".  We were joking, but it is a rare call for us to receive being part of larger churches in our past.  We usually know of an early morning meeting weeks in advance.

You will not believe why Pastor Clint came over.  Go ahead, guess.  Ok, I'll tell you, he came to build a website for my hubs new Fishing Charter business.  Can you believe it?  I was so blessed by this gesture for a couple reasons.  My hubs is very giving.  He has a ton of talents and will offer to do everything, for everybody.  He would be the one to show up at someone's house and fix a sound system, or take them fishing or create a video...he's that guy.  And now it happened to us! And secondly I knew it was an answer to my heart desire, and my prayers!  Confusion no more!

When I realized what they were doing I got myself a seat in their conversation (jumping up and down inside) and was introduced  to Squarespace, and  then I found WIX.  I know, I know, why didn't I just Google it 2 years ago and figure it out on my own?  Because a confused mind says, no. I didn't know what to do so I did nothing. And besides, I was too busy praying about it probably.  So here we are.  


I still have a ton of choices.  But at least I am beginning.  I'm half-way through creating my website and I am writing my first blog post (maybe, unless i hit the wrong button!). I have to do something.  It's time.  I have to take some action because it's just time.  I literally feel like the passion to create, write, share my gifts, and my story with the world through my website is now.  It's time.  So, confused mind, no more.  I now have hope. Even though I'm still second guessing, I'm simply taking a leap of faith.  Here I go.  My first blog post. And I owe it all to God, 3 years of prayer, and a pastor who showed up on a Saturday Morning to help one of his flock.  Praise Jesus.